I’ll never stop reposting this.
dude.. her tits are perfect. why cant mine be so perky and round? *creyz*
Sometimes I just wanna pop all my pain meds and throw all my patches all over me… and go to sleep and never wake up. It would be so painless and so damn easy…
But honestly, and this is SO fucked up…
The only thing keeping me here is Zeba. Cause if she slept at anyone else’s pillow at night, I’d be so jealous. If she followed anyone else around the house, I’d be jealous. If she slept in their bed and watched TV all day with anyone else, I’d be jealous.
Cause no one can loved my baby like I can.
I love Bugsy and Spunky, but I know they’d get by just fine with my parents. Zeba is scared of my mom and has barely warmed up to my dad.
And Iris is 12 years old now, which is “senior citizen” in lab years. So I could be up in the skies with her..
Well, nevermind, I’d be in hell for committing suicide. Why won’t someone just kill me instead of killing people who actually care about being alive?
I hate how I spent night after night waking up suddenly from nightmares, then spend my days having flashbacks. I hate that my rapists are leading normal lives, but I’m stuck here with PTSD and everthing thinkin I’m crazy.
Then there are the people who don’t believe me.
Bitch I know what happened those nights was NOT IN ANY WAY consensual.
It fuckin sucks that I’m so fucked up by what those guys did to me. I’m the victim, shouldn’t the rapist be the one getting the punishment?! Instead they move on like nothing ever happened and people start ridiculing me and shit.
FUCK THAT. I dont wanna live in a world where shit like this can happen.
I don’t wanna be fucked up for the rest of my life (however long it may or may not be). I wanna be the girl I was freshman year, before all the drugs and guys and shit. Back when my friends and I had one problem in life: not having our driver’s licenses.
Why is that SO much to fuckin ask?
Hey loves! Happy Cinco de Mayo!
So it’s been a while since I’ve been on tumblr. (Sorry bout that)
In March, shortly after my birthday, I had surgery. I had a huge cyst on my left ovary and when they went in to operate they found a huge tumor also on my left ovary. They were able to save enough of my ovary to moderate my hormones, thank God, but not enough to produce eggs. I wouldn’t be upset by this, seeing as how as women we are blessed with two ovaries, but three years ago my right ovary was removed. So yeah, I can’t have children. Ever.
I’m devastated. I’ve always wanted to have at least 3 kids. I’m definitely going to adopt, of course. I want a little black baby from Africa and a little Asian baby. Haha :) Except I’m bipolar and I don’t think bipolar people are allowed to adopt… Even if I’m stable and on my meds… So we’ll see.
On June 15th my brother is goin to Afghanistan. :( He’s supposed to be gone for at least 3 months, breaking down camps. However his orders are combat orders so.. yeah… I’d appreciate your prayers for him & his safety during this time. It’s hard on him & our family.
He’s stationed at Camp Pendelton in California and I was goin to go visit him this summer before he leaves but now they’re making them work weekends and stuff. So I wouldn’t get to see him. Isn’t that shitty? Hopefully he’ll get some time off when he gets home. I miss him soo much. I didn’t think it would ever be possible for me to miss him as much as I do.
Oh, I have good news! My mommy got a job!! She’s working at the drug rehab my dad went to last summer. She loves it & I’m so glad for her. She’s finally got some money of her own! Lol
I am so excited to go back to school this fall! I’m getting my license back anytime now. Yayayyyayyyyy!!!
I guess that’s all for now. :P Happy Cinco de Mayo!
<3
PS: Alyson, I tumbled. Is you happy now?
genderless-shakespearean asked: hi :) hope you're doing great girl!
hi there!!! i haven’t been on tumblr in so long! ah, i’ve just been so busy. how are you doin??
I know guys like this.
MY CHILDHOOD BEFORE I DISCOVERED THE INTERNET.
oh my god. I was so fucking good!
(Source: pleasentinterruption)
